


full moon, deep breaths

by streamratqueen



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: (as in: felix is angsting about many things but boy he isn't telling us much!), Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Anxiety, Implied Angst, M/M, Self-Esteem Issues, Transformation, werewolf au like it’s canon but there are werewolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-13
Updated: 2019-12-13
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:01:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21775666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/streamratqueen/pseuds/streamratqueen
Summary: Felix runs wild. He blacks out while he runs, shifting to pure instinct, because Dimitri is afraid and no matter how much he scorns the boar, he will not leave him when he is afraid. His loyalty burns brighter in this form. The blackout causes him to lose time and distance – Dimitri could’ve been miles or yards away when he finds him. But he finds him.-or: self indulgent fraldarddydiakjflsdfjkf werewolf au
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd & Felix Hugo Fraldarius, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Comments: 7
Kudos: 94





	full moon, deep breaths

**Author's Note:**

> "where does this fit in the canon timeline?" you may ask. fuck if i know! it's before dedue returns in AM bc i don't think i could justify my plot if he was present. he's too smart, he wouldn't let this happen. the professor is. around probably but not in this. whoops!
> 
> anyway! i haven't written fic in years but this made me get off my ass - the loosest of plots please suspend yr disbelief. if there's anything i missed w tagging pls lmk!
> 
> title comes from mishearing the lyrics to "blueberry frost" by the mountain goats

It’s still dark when Felix manages to find enough human in him to scrape a bipedal body back together. The full moon has a heavy grip on his heart. It’s not quite ready to let him go as he drags himself back to the monastery. The trees blur into one forest around him, eerily quiet now that he’s lost his wolf hearing. He’s most aware that it’s fucking freezing and he’s uncomfortably nude. When he decided to come back to human form, he’d judged the distance to the gate by how long it’d take a wolf to run there. Foolish.

Sylvain is waiting for him at the gate, cheeks pink with cold, eyes carefully focused on Felix’s face. He holds out one his own coats, a deep burgundy piece lined with thick fur. Felix wraps it around his shoulders clumsily – his coordination with this body has not recovered enough to even _attempt_ sleeves – and nods in thanks. He’s finding space in his ragged heart to be touched that Sylvain waited up for him, but the idiot ruins it by opening his mouth.

“Is Dimitri with you?”

Dimitri. Of course. Felix scowls. “No. Why would he be?”

Sylvain’s lips twitch, an instinctive smirk he caught in the act. His gaze flashes to the tree line and back to Felix, still trying to meet his eyes. Felix drops his gaze. Sylvain says, “He’s not back yet.”

Felix almost laughs. “And you thought he’d be with me?”

“Well, you’re both –“

A growl cuts Sylvain off. It takes Felix a moment to realize it came from him. He really came back too early. He takes a moment to consider his words, to try and tamp down the shake in his voice. “That beast passed his curse onto me without thought. I am not his keeper.”

Sylvain at least has the decency to look cowed, but Felix still pushes past him, retreating to their temporary home.

+

Sylvain does catch up with him. He offers an apology that could double as a threesome proposition and pulls Felix with him to the cardinals’ room. Before entering, Felix finds the wherewithal to pull the coat on properly, securing warmth and a bit of modesty before facing the others. The whole rest of the house is there, their shared tension growing when they see only Felix accompanying Sylvain. Felix reminds them that it’s early yet, that he always comes back early while Dimitri prefers to stay wild for as long as possible. The murmurs subside for a bit.

That is, until the horizon starts to take on light and there’s still no sign of Dimitri.

While everyone else watches the sun wake up, Felix watches Ingrid stare at the fading moon. She snaps her gaze to him.

“No.” says Felix.

“Please,” says Ingrid. “You can still feel it, can’t you?”

He can. It’s like the moon has tied a ribbon around his heart, it tugs at the other end and strings him along, tempting him to leave the war and join the wildlife. Ingrid brushes her shoulder against his, still waiting for an answer. He grumbles in response, but it’s enough.

Annette, ever a music box ballerina knocked off her axis, spins around and has to steady herself with a hand on the wall. “You can still feel the moon? We can use that to find him.”

Felix crosses his arms, casting his glare anywhere but Annette. “And I’ll be stuck in wolf form for a moon. During a war. No.”

Ingrid sets her hand on his arm, disgustingly gentle, like she’s soothing a spooked horse. “You’re the only one who can find him.”

“Because he’s the one who did this to me.” Felix hates this conversation, hates where it’s going, hates where it will end.

It’s Ashe who hits the final nerve. “He’s your king.”

“He’s a _beast._ ” Felix whirls away from Ingrid’s hand and yanks the stupid fur collar aside. Shows the bitten mess at the juncture of his neck and shoulder, the awful way it healed. He can’t help the shake in his voice this time around. “An animal.”

The mix of concern and shock across his friends’ faces makes him feel sick. He’d forgotten most of them hadn’t seen the scarring yet. Mercedes did, when his limited knowledge of faith magic failed him and he couldn’t do anymore himself. Sylvain did, when he emerged from the forest this morning. That’s it.

“Felix, I don’t want to say this but,” Annette looks up from stretching her sleeves over her palms, eyes wide. “What if he hurts someone else?”

It’s not what Annette meant but Felix does what he always does and makes sense of his situation relative to Dimitri. “Someone else” is Dimitri himself. No matter what he says, Felix does not intend for Dimitri to die alone. Without answering, Felix turns on his heel and heads for the gate closest to the sealed forest, where he knows Dimitri starts his runs. He’s watched him leave often enough.

The group trails after him. It’s quiet but he still hears that unstuck sound as Ashe opens his mouth and then thinks better of it. At the gate, Felix turns to address his makeshift pack, the moon falling behind them, his heart holding it above the horizon.

“This isn’t pleasant to watch. I suggest you all turn around.”

No one moves. Felix rolls his eyes and shrugs out of the coat, then balls it up and slams it in Sylvain’s chest. His blood thrums with joy at his nakedness, what his wolf interprets as purity. Felix’s human brain quickly reminds him he should feel shame at his exposure.

He is so tired of feeling betrayed by his own body.

The moon reminds him its last call by tightening the ribbon leash around his heart. He lets the wolf climb out of his mouth and eat him whole. He knows it’s not that poetic. He _knows_ he is grotesque as his bones realign under his skin, as his skin sprouts fur. He hears Annette gag as his claws burst and drag shallow canyons through the dirt. There’s always a moment where his teeth are too big for his mouth, where his canines slice at his still-human lips and he spits blood on himself. Once the worst is over, he shakes his head and refocuses his vision on the white-knuckle grip Ingrid has on Sylvain’s hand.

Felix knows he’s an ugly wolf. He’s too skinny, only muscle and patches of missing fur. He’s not gentle with himself when he runs and it shows. Then there’s the ugly scarring from his bite. It healed unevenly, fissured, as he was too afraid of himself to ask Mercedes for help until it was too late. He wasted too much time in his room, flinching every time the moon called him by name.

He knows and he’s accepted it but something about their eyes on him makes his breath catch. It has him pulling his lips back in a snarl but also attempting to whimper, has him lost between the need to hide and the urge to attack. _They think you’re disgusting. Horrendous. You need to take them out before they come for you. But they’re your friends. They just want you to find Dimitri. Oh. Dimitri._

And then he’s aware of hands on either side of his face, fingers curled in his fur as well as they can be, their gentle tug accompanied by equally gentle shushing.

He opens his eyes to Mercedes standing in front of him, no fear on her face as she stares up at his monstrous form, as she anchors him to his humanity. “It’s okay, Felix,” she says in that soft but impossibly strong way of hers. “You’re okay.”

He almost continues panicking, knowing he’s at least a foot taller than her in this shape. He’s not large for a wolf like him, not like Dimitri is, but he’s still towering over Mercedes like a killer beast. He could snap her neck in a second. He could bite her head off and crush her beneath his paws, he could utterly destroy her and.

And she’s not afraid of him.

He dips his head so his wet nose can press against her cheek. She giggles and scratches behind his ear, laughing again when he shakes her off. “There you are.”

The others seem to recognize the shift in his demeanor and relax.

“Heya, Felix.” Sylvain steps forward and Felix glares at him, daring Sylvain to speak to him like one of the Gautier hunting hounds. “Can you find Dimitri?”

Obviously.

Felix turns his snout to the forest and scents the air. He does smell Dimitri, along with blood and fear. His ears pin against his skull instinctively and he whines.

By the time Sylvain asks what’s wrong, Felix is already running.

+

Felix runs wild. He blacks out while he runs, shifting to pure instinct, because Dimitri is afraid and no matter how much he scorns the boar, he will not leave him when he is afraid. His loyalty burns brighter in this form. The blackout causes him to lose time and distance – Dimitri could’ve been miles or yards away when he finds him. But he finds him.

Dimitri, the hulking wolf, is collapsed in a clearing. His breathing is thick and heavy but he _is_ breathing. There are two arrows stuck through his body, one shallow in his ribs and the other deeper in his hind leg. Other arrows are scattered throughout the clearing. Someone lucky who managed to hit Dimitri twice only because the wolf is eight feet tall and massive. Even a terrified villager couldn’t have missed _every_ shot.

That villager has since moved on. Their scent is stale and tinged with fear. Logic says this was an accidental encounter and an attempt at self-defense. Logic says Felix’s next move should be comforting the wounded.

Dimitri doesn’t seem to be gravely injured. He does, however, seem to be panicking. And though Felix was never taught how to act in this situation, he finds himself moving forward to push his face against Dimitri’s, lapping at his tears.

Dimitri twitches at the contact and his eye goes wide and white. He scents the air frantically and Felix tenses despite himself, readying for a fight. (More realistically, he’s readying to run. He’s not a coward but he remembers clearly what happened the last time he faced off against the boar.)

 _Felix?_ Dimitri’s voice is in his head and he rears back. He’s never been close enough to the other wolf for their voiceless communication to work. His ear flicks back at nothing.

 _Felix?_ Dimitri asks again, sounding more panicked.

 _Yeah_. Felix feels almost offended by how much softer his voice sounds in his own head. He tries to rough it up for his next words. _I’m here._

_Hurts. Tired._

_Don’t pass out._ Felix curls around Dimitri as well as he can, passing along what small warmth he has. He has to placate him somehow, as Dimitri can’t heal while the arrows are in his body but Felix currently lacks the dexterity to remove them.

He thinks, though it would be rough, that he could pull off one more transformation. Trade communication for opposable thumbs. He discards the idea almost as soon as it occurs. Dimitri alone and uncommunicable for a whole moon? Arguably worse than the current situation.

Dimitri interrupts. _Tired._

_Stop whining._

Felix pushes closer to Dimitri and rests his muzzle over Dimitri’s shoulder, shoved in by his face. Dimitri huffs but he allows Felix to be close. As Felix hears Dimitri’s heartbeat slow to a healthier pace, he realizes he has no way of notifying the others that he has found their king. He could howl, he supposes, but that might alert more unwanted company. He could –

He cuts off his thoughts as he hears rustling in the bushes across the clearing. Dimitri shifts like he’s about to stand and Felix puts more pressure on his next, making some approximation of a shushing noise with his wolf mouth. Only one of them is in any state to fight and Felix needs Dimitri to know it’s not him. When the rustling peaks, an obnoxiously familiar head of red hair appears.

“Aw, Felix, you never cuddle with me anymore!”

Felix snarls at him.

“What? You thought we couldn’t follow you?” Sylvain grins. “You destroyed half the forest, Fe. Left a hell of a trail.”

Dimitri stares blankly at the trees. Felix stares at Sylvain.

“Even less of a talker now, I see. Ingrid’s up above, one second.” Sylvain puts two fingers to his mouth and whistles. Felix winces and scans the area for enemies alerted by that goddess-damned whistle. He only relaxes minutely when Ingrid and her pegasus touch down in the clearing.

She scans the situation as well and, once confirming no one is in immediate danger, dismounts to stalk over to Sylvain. She tangles her fingers in his hair and yanks his head down to eye level with her. “You idiot, do you know how loud that whistle was?”

“Ow, ow! It’s fine, Ingrid. You’re the only one that heard me.”

Ingrid lets him go with a sigh. “That you know of.”

Dimitri whines in Felix’s ear. _Who’s here?_

 _Ingrid and Sylvain._ Felix’s heart skips at Dimitri’s inability to recognize their voices. _They’re here to help._

 _Ah._ Dimitri hums to himself. _I’ll sleep, then._

 _No!_ Felix bites his ear.

“Be nice, Felix,” Ingrid chides, “we’ll get him out of here.”

Felix feels Dimitri’s hackles raise as Ingrid steps closer to inspect his wounds. He readies himself again, prepared to leap in between Dimitri and Ingrid if the beast finds the strength to attack, but Dimitri seems content to just track her movements with his eye. She finishes up quickly enough, just crouching and poking once or twice before returning to Sylvain.

“They don’t look bad, but I’m afraid to pull them out without a healer present. You stand guard and I’ll get Mercedes.”

Felix wants to object, say that if they just pull the arrows out Dimitri’s body will take care of the healing on its own, but he doesn’t have the tools. By the time he’s planned out symbols he could possibly use, Sylvain has agreed and Ingrid has taken flight. Goddess, this moon is going to be a nightmare with Dimitri as the only one who can understand him.

Dimitri has turned his gaze to Felix. _What’s wrong?_

_Nothing. Ingrid is going to get Mercedes. To heal you._

_Not that. You’re._ Dimitri pauses, trying to piece out the emotions Felix couldn’t keep from their bond. _You’re sad._

Felix grunts. _Am not._ Childish, perhaps, but accurate.

 _You are._ Dimitri snorts in frustration. _I just can’t figure out why – oh._

 _Oh?_ Felix mimics.

_The sun is up._

He’s right. As they’ve been having their near silent conversation, Sylvain watching bemusedly from the sidelines, the sun has fully cleared the horizon. As much as Felix reaches for it, he cannot grab hold of his human body. It dangles just out of reach, trapped by the moon.

He’s stuck with the beast for the next thirty or so days, waiting for the moon to give them a second chance. It feels like he’s been waiting for Dimitri for most of his life.

He’ll wait a little more.

**Author's Note:**

> thank u for reading!!
> 
> ik there wasn't like. overt romantic relationship things happening but theyre getting there. i think. there's obvs a lot more going on w this au that hasn't even made itself clear to me yet so! here's hoping i can eventually write more! No Promises
> 
> my fire emblem twt is [here](https://twitter.com/_felixhugo)


End file.
